As you already know, my blogs tend to be chock full of useful and timely information given free of charge, entirely for your awareness. HGTV is not the best resource if you want truthful and accurate descriptions. This blog is about translations and hidden meanings. Do you want to be remembered as the person who used last year’s definitions for this year’s real estate market? Here we go:Old World Charm — Has some woodwork, needs cleaning.
Contemporary feeling — Has no woodwork, needs cleaningWide-open floor plan — Previous owner removed supporting walls.
Needs TLC — Major structural damage. See wide-open floor plan above.
Security System — Neighbor has a dog … A hungry dog … Loves children and other snacks.
Mint — Someone has spilled ice cream or mouthwash on the carpet.
Move in condition — Front door / bay window missing.
Cozy — No room larger than 9 x 6, narrow hallways, short ceilings, etc.
Neutral decor — No velvet portraits (Elvis or otherwise), no bedazzler curtains, no sequins, no murals, no black light posters and has brown walls.
Outstanding — Painted purple, sticks out like a sore thumb.
Light open spaces — Many holes in walls, screens, roof, and ceilings.
Convenient — Located on freeway entrance ramp. See sophisticated city description below.
Sophisticated city living — Next to a noisy bar, lack of parking, sounds of sirens, or any number of objections not on the disclosure.
Lower level family room — Carpet covers floor drain. French drain, sump pump, and cracks. What is that smell?
Close to Beaches / Shore — Impossible to park from April to October. Restful sleep? Not in your price range and not in this zip code.
Updated kitchen — Sink no longer overflows as pipes leak at same rate as drip fills the sink. The Universe is balanced, except floors are spongy.
Water view — And your flood insurance premium is $$ monthly.
Motivated seller — Has been on the market for 14 years.
Endless potential — That is the amount of energy and wisdom I have. Askanybody who knows me. I share useful information with friends, buyers, sellers, investors.
Priceless — There is a difference between priceless and worthless. Consult an expert to learn that difference. Who do you know that needs my skills and experience?